"Physics. Bila Tekanan Tinggi, Kita Cari Ruang."

Have you ever listened to your loved one's broken voice and you could feel the physical pain inside?

Have you ever wanted to hug someone so tightly and wish that your hug could prevent her from being broken into pieces? Like you need to hold her tight to keep that fragile soul from shattering?

Have you ever wish that you could fly all the way to where your loved one is regardless the distance, just so you could hold her and be there for her, even when you could not think of any right advice to give her? You want to hold her so that even in the suffocating moment, she knows that you're there. Even when all things seemed to fail, you're there for her. Because your mere presence makes it more bearable.

Have you ever wish that you could channel some of your strength to someone else in any way possible? As in you tell the person to 'be strong' and the word has some magical effect that somehow will channel some of your strength towards that person?

Have you ever wish that only for that one day, you were granted with a soothing voice so you could sing your loved ones some lullabies to calm her down and let her sleep to ease off her mind? 

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"I pray that whoever reads this, that God heals whatever is hurting you.

Whatever is causing all those precious tears to fall from your eyes; whatever is breaking your heart, if it’s stress, anxiety, pain, illness, sadness, worry, the loss of a loved one, a divorce, a broken engagement, anything.

I pray that God heals all that is causing your distress and that He gives you something greater in return."

Dalam ruang kau, yang pastinya ada Allah. Dan terpulang pada kau sama ada mahu wujudkan aku dalam ruang kau atau tidak. Tapi biiznillah, aku selalu ada jika bila-bila masa kau perlukan aku dan ingin tarik aku masuk dalam ruang tersebut :)

Life Goals.

Hai assalamualaikum. I was bothered about something I saw earlier, and it turned out that my friend Aqilah was bothered with it too haha. Here is what she had to say about it.

This is my two cents. To me, life goal is a really subjective matter. Each person in life grows up in different environment, different background, different style of living and each of us has our own priorities, which may be different to each other. True that most of us dream of living in a big house, owning expensive cars, affording all branded stuff, etc. But life is not limited to that. What if I tell you that there are some people who will be contented with just having a small but nice house, as long as he gets to live peacefully with his family? What if I tell you, that there are some people who can't bother less about having a luxurious life, as long as he gets to travel all around the world? What if I tell you, that there are people who dreams of settling his life in a quiet village and works on his own garden because that what makes him happy more than all the things he could get in the world?

You see, we don't define life goals based on what most people want to achieve. It is subject to individual. We don't get to say what is right and what is wrong with someone's goal. We don't get to say that the person is not successful in their life just because they don't have what we think they should have. Just because you have one dream and it seems like the most ideal dream, it doesn't mean that others' dream should be the same. Some people are easily contented with the little things they got. It doesn't mean that they are narrow minded, it means they have little expectation and that's okay, if it feels enough for them. Maybe they're thankful with all the little things they have. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that having big dreams means that you're not thankful with what you've got. It means you have your own vision and that's okay too. What is not okay is to condemn people for having different life goals than yours.

Have some respect for other people's lives, and have some respect for their dreams too. Just because you were pressurised to do something that is not of your concern or priority yet, don't condemn those who dreams of it, or those who already achieved it. If they are happy with what they do, then let them be. Be happy for them. Maybe their dream is not as big as yours, but maybe it takes a lot more effort for them to achieve it. Maybe they were born in a different environment that is a lot poorer than yours. For example, my friend used to chase all the money and all the luxury in this world, but ever since she has a child of her own, her only dream is to provide a good life for her child. You can't tell her she lost a lot in her life because she sacrificed her teenage life by working so hard for the sake of her child. Because having him as her child means more than anything in her life. Her child is her dream.

What I am trying to say here is, create your own life goals. Have some vision. Plan your life. You can choose to tell it to the world, or keep quiet about it, we won't mind. But let's agree that every person has a different life goal, and each of us need to respect it provided it is not harmful to others. The world will be a better place if everyone is supportive of each other, right? ;)

My current goal. Hmphh *heavy breathing*

Kuching, Sarawak: Part II.

Hi assalamualaikum. Okay let me continue my story while I am in the mood to write it.


Day 3 (Monday - 10/8/2015)

In the morning, Mizah had to accompany her grandmother to go to a clinic so we were kind of stuck in the hotel room. We took the opportunity to sleep a little longer huehuehue. Our initial plan was to go to Pantai Damai and Kem Permai in the morning but yeah, thing doesn't always go according to your plan. Because it was already late, we decided to change our plan and go to Carpenter Street instead. So we had our brunch at 11 a.m. after Mizah had finished her appointment with the doctor. We went to Kopi O' Corner -- where Dena Bahrin went to a few days earlier so it became a famous place hahaha. I was starving so I ordered Nasi Ayam Penyet Bakar and coconut shake for lunch, omnomnom.

Nasi Ayam Penyet Bakar and Coconut Shake FTW!

After we had our lunch, we headed back to our hotel to drop Seha because she was not feeling well and we needed to perform our Zohor and Asar prayers. Then, we stopped by at a shopping mall to buy myself a new sandal because my shoes were worn out T__T. After that we proceeded to Carpenter Street, a must-visit place for tourists, especially if you want to experience a backpacking style of travelling hahaha. The streets there were lined with old buildings and vintage-decorated bars. And we accidentally found a wall full of street arts! B) 

Posing di pintu gerbang.

One of my favourite street art; a pixelated picture of Rosli Dhobi.

Kalau anda adalah sejenis instagrammer dan hipster, anda akan menyukai tempat ini, lelelels. Then, we went to buy Ais Kantong, more or less like ABC but eaten in a cup and it tasted like Sarsi. I couldn't finish it because the portion was too big -__-" Because we were already late, we went to a souvenir shop and bought everything in just one shop and headed back to our hotel room to pick Seha up to buy Kek Lapis at Kampung Boyan.

Since we need to cross the river to go to Kg. Boyan, we had a chance to enjoy the sunset view and subhanallah, it was really breathtaking. Once we arrived at the kampung, Mizah brought us to Kek Lapis Dayang Salhah. In order to go there, you need to walk quite far from the waterfront. It is quite hidden from the main road. Anyone who doesn't know about this place will have a difficulty finding it. Nearer to the waterfront, there is Mira Cake House that sells kek lapis too but Mizah told me that Dayang Salhah's has a better taste. I don't know which is better though because I didn't get the chance to compare those two, heheh. But yea, all the kek lapis I bought were tasty :D

Sunset at the waterfront.

We decided to have our dinner at Topspot Food Court, which is famous for their seafood. We walked all the way to UTC building (the foodcourt is located upstairs) all sweaty and stinky hahaha because Mizah had to send the car to his uncle. Fortunately Eva, Fatin and Intan (our classmates that happened to go there for a holiday at the same time) had arrived early so they ordered the food for us. Datang-datang, lahap je makanan terus. Leuls. The food was quite good, but next time maybe we should order Sarawak specialty dishes, to make it more interesting. The Sarawak dishes that they ordered were Midin Goreng Belacan (sort of like paku pakis) and Umai Ikan (they used raw fish). Sorry I didn't take any picture of the food because I was tired and hungry :') After dinner, we went back to our room, tired but happy because the stomach was full :3

Day 4 (Tuesday - 11/8/2015)

It was our last day here and we woke up early to go to Santubong. During the journey it was raining lightly so I couldn't hide my disappointment because I thought we wouldn't be able to go mandi manda :( Chilling in a river and swimming has always been my favourite activity to do during travel. But as the time went by, the sky became clearer so I was happy again :D While waiting for kem Permai to be opened for public, we stopped by at Damai Central for a while to take pictures of Gunung Santubong and the enormous Kenyalang. 

Gambar ihsan Trip Advisor sebab tak jumpa gambar dan malas korek.

Gambar ihsan Sarawak Tourism.

After Kem Permai Rainforest Resort was opened to public, we went there and was charged RM4.00/person (student rate). The normal rate is RM5.00/person. I love this place so much because you will be surrounded by nature throughout the whole journey. And though we needed to walk quite a few metres before we reached the pool, it was really worth it. The pool was not really a pool though. How do I describe it? The water was actually a streaming river but they made the place look like a pool. Hahaha I give up explaining. But I seriously love that place. Beside the pool there was a fish pond and if you're lucky, when you put your feet into the pond, the small fishes will come and bite your feet. I did it and it was ticklish and I screamed and laughed like an idiot :') Fortunately, there were no one else there because it was a normal Tuesday for everyone else, of course. After playing with the fishes, I went inside the pool and mandiiiiiii :D

The entrance.

The pool. The water was very clear, yes.

After that, we walked a few metres more and arrived at Pantai Damai. We didn't swim at the sea though. We were just chilling and taking pictures before we went back to the pool and continue our bath. Hehe. At 11 a.m. we headed back to town and Mizah brought us to Serian if I'm not mistaken to try the famous Aiskrim Gula Apong yang memang masyaAllah sedap :') And we also ate Cheesy Mayo Potato Story (well, in Semenanjung we have Crazy Potato but this one tasted just as good and it was way cheaper). As for lunch, we went to The Spring Mall (where we had our first lunch in Kuching) and had our last lunch at SugarBun. Ceh, konon simbolik lah kena pergi tempat yang sama untuk lunch :8) We also performed our prayers there and after that we headed to airport at 3.00 p.m. to depart back to Kuala Lumpur. We arrived KLIA2 at about 7.50 p.m and splitted our ways.

Expenses

If you're wondering about my expenses, here goes:

Flight: RM 129.00

Hotel: RM 72.00

Transportation and fuel: RM 36.80 (we borrowed Azi's car so we managed to save a lot of money)

Activities: RM 10.80 (Wind cave, Meow Meow Cafe, Kem Permai)

Souvenirs: RM 111.70 (Kek Lapis, ikan terubuk, tshirt & keychain)

Meals: RM 105.00 (average of RM25/day, lol baru perasan banyak duit habis dekat makanan)

Emergency: RM 70 (my new sandal T__T)

Total expenses including flight and hotel -- RM 535.30

Terlebih bajet ni sebenarnya. I thought it won't exceed RM 500. But well, if it was not for the worn out shoes, my budget will only be RM 400+. It's okay though, the sandal I bought is comfortable enough to be used for my next journey :B

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So there goes the story of my journey. It was a brief journey, but it definitely was a memorable one :)

Kuching, Sarawak: Part I

Hi assalamualaikum. I have been procrastinating writing about this trip for daaays. If I'm not mistaken this is actually my third travelogue after Sabah and Singapore. Since it is a 4 days & 3 nights trip and it will be quite a lengthy post if I try to tell you all the details, I will try my best to make it as simple as I can. And pardon my upcoming rojak language.

Day 1 (Saturday - 8/8/2015)

The four of us arrived at Kuching International Airport at 3.00 p.m. and Hamizah, our friend who is staying in Kuching picked us up and brought us to have our late lunch at The Spring Shopping Mall. We went to the food court and ordered ourselves our first Sarawak dish, Laksa Sarawak :3

Tadaa! Creamy and spicy and entahlah, sedap gilaa!

After lunch we headed our way to eat desserts at Swee Kang Ais Kacang. The famous dessert at this place is Ais Jagung if I'm not mistaken but I ordered ABC instead. Their ABC tasted a bit different than in Semenanjung because they used a lot of Gula Apong. We also ate rojak buah and Umai Obor-Obor. If you're wondering about how does a jellyfish tasted, it was crispy! The sour and spiciness of the Umai enhanced the taste. Nang nyaman umai tok :D

Umai Obor-obor

Then we proceeded to check-in at Premium Stay Hostel, a budget hotel. I booked the hotel through Agoda for a rate of RM93/night (a family room with 4 beds). So it only costed us around RM70/person for 3 nights. Yes, the rate is cheap :D At first, the place looked blerghh and mula-mula macam dah panik eh kenapa macam cikai niiii. But surprisingly the room was nice and comfortable enough for the 4 of us and the wifi is quite good, hehehe. Don't judge a place by its exterior decoration. For a budget hotel, it is worth the money lah.

At night, we decided to have our dinner at a nearby restaurant since our hotel is located at the centre of the city and most shops are available within walking distance. We went to eat Nasi Ayam Penyet at Pak Somet Kopitiam (FYI, Nasi Ayam Penyet is quite famous in Sarawak). We wanted to try RJ Ayam Penyet because many people recommended it but it was closed at that moment :( We went back to our room at 10.00 p.m. and hit the sack early.

Day 2 (Sunday - 9/8/2015)

We had our breakfast at Teh Tarik Kafeteria in Petra Jaya and ate Mee Kolok. It was one of the most delicious Mee Kolok I've ever tasted in the world. I think that even if I put the picture here it wouldn't do the food enough justice because it tasted waaaay better that what it looked like. It was very, very delicious, no doubt. Okay lepasni kita slow down sikit cerita pasal makanan. Haha. Buat lapar je -.-

The Lord of The Mee Kolok.

After that we proceeded to Serikin, a famous place for people from Semenanjung to shop for kain batik and kain pasang Sarawak. It was quite far from the main city and it took us about 50 minutes to arrive there. Since I'm not very fancy at shopping, I found this place very mehhh and I'd rather skip this part. However my friends bought a lot of things here, so maybe it was interesting to other people. Haha.

Then, we headed to Gua Angin, which is located in Bau, Sarawak. It is not really far from Serikin, only about 10-15 minutes away. The entrance fee is only RM1.00/person and you can rent a torchlight for RM4.00 each. It has many passages and to explore the whole cave will take about 45 minutes. But we only went inside for 10 minutes because it was too dark and we spent the rest of our time there taking and posing for pictures huhuhuhu. Inside the cave, you can see the bats hanging everywhere and it was quite spooky but interesting. There were a lot of beautiful naturally shaped stalactites and stalagmites too.

On our way out from the cave.

Our next destination was Tasik Biru located nearby the Wind Cave we visited earlier. The colour of the lake was not as I expected haha. I thought it would be azure blue or a lighter shade of blue, but instead it was more of navy blue shade. We didn't stay long here because we were already tired and it was getting hot. We stayed there for about 10 minutes to take pictures and then headed back to Kuching.

It was raining that evening so we went to Baitulmal to perform our prayers and eat our late lunch. After the rain stopped, we went to Meow Meow Cafe, a cat cafe and played with the cute cats but they kind of ignored us  -___-". Then we went to Pustaka Negeri, a public library and park. We rested ourselves there, tengok ikan dalam tasik and enjoy the scenic view before heading back to our room.

After performing our Maghrib and Isyak prayers, we walked from our hotel to the waterfront and rode a Penambang (a small perahu that was used to transport passengers to the other side of the river) and ate our dinner there. After dinner, we took a walk along the Kuching Waterfront. The Sarawak DUN Building is soooo majestic I can stare and admire it for the whole night.

I was kind of regret that night because I didn't bring my dslr with me T__T

Okay, that's all for this Part 1. For a snippet, in part 2 I will share about Carpenter Street - the place for street arts and souvenirs shopping, Kek Lapis Dayang Salhah, Topspot Seafood Food Court, and Kem Permai and Pantai Damai (my favourite part). InsyaAllah see you soon!

p/s: Sorry for the square pictures. It was taken from my vsco account because I am too lazy to transfer the pictures to my laptop -.-

A Work in Progress.

"One of the most courageous things you can do is admit your wrong and recognise your shortcomings. That's the first step towards recovery."

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

It is our norm as a human being to try our hardest to hide our fears. We hate to let people know that we have fears, let alone talk about it. It makes us seem weak. We keep it inside, trying to ignore it, trying to ditch its existence in our head, with the hope that it will really disappears someday and we no longer have to deal with it. We treat our fear like a child seeking attention; we pretend like it is a small matter and it will vanishes when it gets tired of disturbing our mind.

Or that's how I thought how we should handle it. For God's sake, I couldn't be any more wrong. 

Recently, this one thought kept bothering and lingering around my mind. It is something that I am fear of. It is often there, and when I try to ditch it, it will leave, at least for awhile. And then it will come back -- and my mind is a haunted place again. I tried to convince myself that the feeling's temporary. I often tried to deny its existence. I was in denial.

So this is what fears me for so long.

You know, I am a person who always have my future planned ahead of me. Ever since I knew the real meaning of vision and future, I set my goals and I planned everything that I wanted to achieve, specifically. For example, when I was in standard 6, I planned to enter one of the KAA's classes and learn Arabic language. Checked. When I was in my lower secondary school, I planned to go into a boarding school, any boarding school. I was selected as a TIKL student a year after. Checked. When I was in Form 5, I planned to go to PASUM and take the Physical Science course so that I could pursue my bachelor degree in UTM, in Quantity Surveying. Checked. Checked.

See, I am that annoying, gelabah person who planned everything ahead. Now, I have something to admit. And by admitting it, I want to let myself know that I am not in denial anymore. I know it might be stupid to some of you guys, but I am terribly, terribly scared. I am scared, because for the first time in my life, I don't have a vision of what will I be after I graduated. I could not imagine my place years from now. I do not know what I want to do with my life next. Actually, I have something in mind, but I don't know if I have the courage to do it, considering it is way too different than the course I am taking now. I don't have the confidence. So, here I am, feeling scared of my own future.

Everyone seems to be so clear about everything. Everyone is taking one step ahead, while here I am, like a still lake, not knowing where to move, or even how to move. I don't think I am getting better in my study. I used to look forward to graduation. I was that girl who got high hopes seeing people in their robe, holding that precious certificate, smiling genuinely to the camera. Graduation ceremony was an event I looked forward to every year. Now the feeling is not the same. I still love it, though. I love seeing people's reactions on that event. But I am no longer that girl who wishes to graduate soon so that I could start my career immediately. I feel...plain.

I told this to my best friend hours ago. I was not in my best state and I somehow blurted it all out (here's a hint on how bad it is -- my nose was blocked and I can hardly breathe. Yeah. That bad -_-). I tried to find words for what was bothering me all along. I gathered all the courage I have to confront my friend (and maybe myself too) and arranged whatever that bothered me into words so that people could understand. So that I could understand.  I chose to talk about my fear. And you know what? It felt good. It felt really good. Things get less heavier when you share it with someone. At times you may thought you're strong enough to handle it and move on, so let me tell you this, every time, you are wrong. Even if none of your fear could be removed by telling someone about it, at least there is someone who will take you by the hand and let you know that it's going to be okay because she's there, and she will be there as you go through all these things. She didn't let me believe that I am worthless, and she told me that things are going to get better. Of course I knew about all these. But sometimes you need someone to say it out loud, so that you could convince yourself that you're not hallucinating. So that you know that of course it is going to get better, you idiot. (You = I, so I am calling myself idiot, not you, please).

I am a work in progress, so if I mess up, it's okay. It will get better. Same goes to you. We are all works in progress. And there is no such thing as a smooth and perfect work. We just have to deal with the errors we made and hope for the better. So yeah, whatever it is that you're scared of, don't deny it. Confront it. Admitting your fears is an act of courage too, you know :)